183. While that looks like a half pound loss on paper, the truth is I’ve been seeing the same numbers bouncing around on the scale for the last two weeks. While some people would discourage every day weighing, I like it. I think I can get a better picture of what’s going on. The last two weeks have been super rough emotionally. I tend to soothe myself with treats when I am stressed emotionally and that is what I have been doing the last two weeks. I tell myself that a treat now and then is okay with portion control. That’s true, but for me it quickly escalates to treating myself too often and then the portion control starts to get weak…
And of course, there’s the exercise side of things. No surprise here, but depression makes it so much harder to get moving. I’m not one to sleep the day away, but I will watch TV and sit on the computer all day. Again, this is meant to soothe me.
The question is does eating a treat actually soothe our emotions? Does treating myself to my favorite rerun TV drama soothe my emotions? I have tried to observe the reaction of my emotions to these treats in order to answer this question. I have to say that for me, these treats do seem to work. The immediate result of a treat is relief. However, there’s the long term big picture. I know these treats are not healthy. I also know there are healthy substitutes for treats. Right now it’s so much easier to reach for a cookie and turn the TV on. I love going for a walk and it also soothes me. But to go for a walk involves dressing for the weather, putting on the right shoes, getting the dog ready (collar, leash, potty bag), accessories (hat? Jacket?), grabbing a Kleenex, grabbing the phone (it has the walking app), setting the app to start recording. While that’s everyday stuff, to a depressed person it can sound like a lot of work. I can have a cookie and turn the TV on in my pajamas. The only work is walking a few feet to the cookie and pressing a few buttons.
Wait a minute, how do I expect to lose pounds with no work?? So I should look at all that work to get ready for a walk as burning calories! Ha, it sounds so silly when I write it out, but honestly that’s the way my brain is thinking: it’s too much work! I’m glad I took the time to write out my silly thoughts. Maybe now I can change them to healthy, positive thoughts.
What are some healthy alternatives to eating and TV watching for me? Reading (health books or inspirational books), walking, any exercise, mindfulness exercises, writing, planning healthy meals. In thinking, it’s easy for me to come up with the sitting activities that require little physical effort. And there is some benefit to those also. However, I find that any exercise seems to boost my mood. This week’s goal is to increase my activity to walking or exercising a minimum of thirty minutes every day. Yes, every day! I will be curious to see how this affects my mood (and the scale) and will report back next week.
On a positive note, here’s to not gaining weight in spite of struggling!
P.S. Thanks for listening to my silly thoughts. Isn’t that a gorgeous photo? Just envisioning myself on that path brings my stress level down and brings joy to my heart. I love nature!