Getting Back on Track

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I haven’t been posting lately because the last few weeks have been a disaster for me in the weight and fitness areas. This bad spell culminated in a realization that I had reverted into the old me. The one-who-was, last July. This is a slap in the face! This realization resulted in waking up in the middle of the night last night and tossing and turning. When I woke up, I listened to myself and I realized I was telling myself what a loser I am. No wonder I am not doing well.

Things first started falling apart after vacation a couple months ago. When I got home, I didn’t pick up my c25k program like I had been doing it. After that it was alternating good and bad days or stretches of days. Then I was sick. Then I hurt my hip (which is pretty much healed now).Β  I have this looming Color Run which I signed up for at the end of December expecting to be able to run the whole 5k. Well, I won’t be able to. I’m allowing the frustration of how difficult this is for me to discourage me. (And I’m well aware that it’s not just difficult for me physically, but mentally too of course).

And these past two weeks I have been dealing with lots of hunger because I’m not always eating healthy foods. I am having cravings, which normally I don’t. I’m feeling deprived. I’ve gained back a couple pounds. I was expecting to be ten pounds lighter than I am at this point. Too much social eating and temptations lately!

I don’t stop to recognize what I have accomplished. I just get upset at what I can’t YET do.

And all this is exactly why I am overweight. It is my battle.

I really want to keep my blog positive, but the truth is the truth and I have to fight this battle with everything I can muster up. Do I sound mad? Good!

Today, I’m tracking my food and drinking lots of water. I’m working on getting the new me back (mentally). I’m going to post this and get out for a walk. It’s hot out, but the sun is shining!

 

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17 thoughts on “Getting Back on Track

  1. Cynthia, as down as you may feel right now, you’ve not quit. You have determination and willpower. We all have these bumps, it’s part of the journey. You’ll get there, just remember that squiggly line map. Weight loss is not linear!

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    • Thank you Rob for the encouragement. You’re right. I forget that. We all try to be encouraging with our blogs, and it is inspiring to hear of others’ accomplishments, but I forget that everyone has their struggles too just like me.

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  2. Kudos for being so honest! I don’t think there is a human being out there that cannot relate to your struggle! One of the greatest and most life-changing pieces of advice I ever received was “Be kind to yourself”….seems so simple, right? As you know, it’s not! BUT, if you keep that as your mantra, I promise you will notice a positive shift (mentally, emotionally). Be your own best friend…would you criticize your best friend for slipping into old bad habits? Of course not. You would love her, support her, and encourage her. So be this way to yourself. And always remember this: it’s progress, not perfection. So you slipped a little bit, so what? You’ve already taken the first step toward the “new you” by being really honest! So proud of you! Your family will be doing the Color Run right by your side – loving you, encouraging you, and supporting you πŸ™‚

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    • Thank you πŸ™‚ I really believe in the power of honesty. I feel better already just having let it out. I’m not very good at being a good friend to myself, but you’re right, “be kind to myself” is a great mantra and I really need to let that run rampant in my thoughts to drown the naysayer ones

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  3. Cynthia, you will always be fighting that urge to go back to your old self. I still do and it’s been a few years for me. What is impressive with you is your ability to recognize and even write down for people to see. I never admitted that! I thought not saying it made it go away or not exist. The best advice I can give for what it’s worth is forgive yourself and move on. You have changed and realizing that is huge! So, you hit a stumbling block….it will happen again. But don’t ever let that be the point that you give up. You really have to keep the realistic view it will never be perfect. Rob is right, it’s a journey. I will tell you…it is so worth it. And, you can still be ready for your Color Run. Those group runs are so inspirational!

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    • Thank you Charlotte. It’s nice to hear that from you. It means a lot since I know your story. I didn’t really want to admit it, so I just went silent. But we can’t fix what we don’t acknowledge. I have learned that’s true. I do need to forgive myself. I’m such a perfectionist, but that isn’t realistic and causes more problems than benefits. And you’re right, I cannot give up. I like the new me too much, so I think that can keep me going if I learn to deal with not being “perfect”. Thank you Charlotte, you are such an inspiration to me πŸ™‚

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  4. You can do this, Cynthia but if it was easy then no one would be overweight and everyone would eat clean and work out every day. It’s not though. I force myself to every single work out… and I’ve been working out 5 times a week for almost a year. I still really struggle with food and I sometimes get so mad at myself for making bad choices. The most important thing though is to encourage yourself, celebrate success and keep going.

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    • Thank you, Abbi. You make such a good point about if it were easy everyone would be fit and thin. I’m so impressed at your perseverance at working out! That’s inspiring. I do need to work on encouraging myself. Thank you

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  5. Good for you!! Forgive yourself and move forward! This is just how life is sometimes, but I’m glad you’re getting back on track. Keep saying positive things to yourself to rebuild that habit. πŸ™‚

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      • Say them as you run or exercise and definitely say them as you get ready for the day. I repeat, “Everyday I’m getting healthier and stronger,” over and over as I exercise–especially when I feel like I’m hitting a wall. Also, emphasize health when you’re using positive self talk while getting ready in the morning. I believe beauty always follows health–so if we’re healthy we’re going to be naturally gorgeous! πŸ™‚

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  6. I am experiencing the same thing and had a very similar conversation with myself while walking back from the grocery store… This terrible Allergy season has really knocked me for a loop as did my social eating… I am determined to get back in the game and exercize! This really is a life long journey and no doubt there will be times and things that make it not a perfect journey, but being aware and real with ourselves is key..It’s about taking one day at a time and then stringing those good days together….You are already on your way by just talking about it!

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    • Thank you. I’m sorry to hear you are struggling too. Your allergies/vertigo/migraines can’t have been easy to deal with! Hopefully you will be feeling better so you can focus your energies on weight loss. The social eating is really hard. My summers are always full of social eating after a long, cold winter of hibernating.

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  7. Pingback: Day 2 | Ups and Downs

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