178.5 on Monday. Last week was very busy and stressful. I stopped entering in myfitnesspal and didn’t exercise at all. I still managed to do alright, weight-wise. I have spent the beginning of this week getting back on track emotionally and have begun logging food and exercising again.
One thing I paid attention to last week was how that stress (it’s anxiety for me) affected my appetite. I’m the same weight I was last May and the weight I gained in between then and the end of June was due mostly to anxiety. Eating is my knee jerk reaction to anxiety. I’m working on changing that (the anxiety and the reaction to it). Lately I have lost a lot of that gnawing hunger that anxiety gives me and feel I have better control over my appetite. Unfortunately it started reappearing last week! I found myself frequently feeling that sense of panicky frustration followed by hunger followed by me walking towards food. I was very observant of this and tried to talk myself out of eating. I reminded myself that I was “hungry” due to anxiety and tried to think of alternatives like drinking tea or water. I paid attention to which activities were causing the anxiety and tried to change what I was doing when I could. I found that keeping super busy helped too because then I didn’t have time or opportunity to run to the fridge. Busy work itself doesn’t cause me anxiety either.
This process is very difficult for me. Eating does soothe anxiety and it is also a distraction from anxiety. I don’t want it to be my solution to anxiety any more. This will take time and hard work.
I am grateful to have a quiet week where I can refocus and be kind to myself! Now, everyone give yourself a hug and be kind to yourself!